


... How?

by Lacy_Star



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Reunions, yet another glorified character study/excuse to practice emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28386831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacy_Star/pseuds/Lacy_Star
Summary: When Tommy met Tubbo’s eyes for the first time in months, the expressions that crossed his face were something that stuck with Tommy even after he and Techno returned home.First his eyes had gone wide, his skin paled, and it was as if he’d seen a ghost. His whole body went stiff and he nearly stumbled back in total startle upon their eyes locking. Tommy had never seen someone look like that in his entire life, and it had been so striking on its own that whatever quip was on Tommy’s tongue instantly died.Then, confusion. Eyes still wide, Tubbo’s brow pinched and his eyes darted frantically left, right, all over Tommy, searching. Then to Techno, then Tommy again.Finally they landed again on Tommy’s eyes, and for a second Tubbo floundered for words, gaping like a fish before getting out a barely managed whisper of, “… How?”---AKA: A more detailed depiction of the Tubbo-Tommy reunion that happened on stream yesterday, this time without all the interruption from Connor and Techno /j
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 23
Kudos: 229





	... How?

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not plagiarize or steal any of my work.

When Tommy met Tubbo’s eyes for the first time in months, the expressions that crossed his face were something that stuck with Tommy even after he and Techno returned home.

First his eyes had gone wide, his skin paled, and it was as if he’d seen a _ghost._ His whole body went stiff and he nearly stumbled back in total startle upon their eyes locking. Tommy had never seen someone look like that in his entire life, and it had been so striking on its own that whatever quip was on Tommy’s tongue instantly died.

Then, confusion. Eyes still wide, Tubbo’s brow pinched and his eyes darted frantically left, right, all over Tommy, searching. Then to Techno, then Tommy again.

Finally they landed again on Tommy’s eyes, and for a second Tubbo floundered for words, gaping like a fish before getting out a barely managed whisper of, “… _How?_ ”

“Well well well,” Techno crowed, on Tommy’s left, “Look who it is.”

“I—“ Not once did his eyes leave Tommy, “I’m so confused.”

Tommy barely registered himself saying, voice full of genuine, unusual gentleness, “Tubbo…” It was a tone he’d never heard come from himself before. It was worrying.

The word hung heavily in the air, swirling around Tubbo’s head as he just stared. And once the sound sunk in, Tommy saw his lip quiver. “You’re _alive?_ ”

So Tubbo had wanted him dead? But that didn’t seem right. The boy was far too shocked seeming for that. One way or another, it snapped Tommy out of it. He was here for business, after all. He forced himself to straighten and quiet, just how Techno liked. “Hello, Tubbo.”

Tubbo seemed to nearly crumple. “What— what the fuck!?” He turned to Ranboo, eyes wild and watery, “He’s— you’re seeing this, right?”

“Talk about me like I’m not here,” Tommy huffed.

Ranboo, uncomfortable as always at the confrontational situation, shrugged. “Seeing Tommy? Yeah, I am.”

Tubbo turned to Tommy again, and gone was the strong president that had exiled him and gotten him launched off a sky high wall months ago, who hadn’t bothered to visit or come to his party, who had _burned the compass_. It was only Tubbo. All at once he crumpled forward, tears spilling down his cheeks. “Tommy, oh my _God—_ “ he stumbled towards him, reaching out with shaky soft hands.

It hurt him to do it, but Tommy forced himself to pull back, stepping away from the overwhelming relief and love like a thorn being extracted from a wound, and just like a wound, the action made Tubbo’s expression fall painfully.

Tommy wasn’t sure how to feel. Tubbo’s hands were still hovering unsurely; it would be so easy to collapse into them and cling to Tubbo and cry and yell at him to never pull that shit again, to let everything go and scream and tell Tubbo how he’d hurt him, how he’d absolutely fucked Tommy’s head forever, to make him hurt like he’d hurt Tommy, to cling onto him and sob about how he’d missed him so so badly and how he still loved him so damn much.

But those emotions were so damn difficult to pick and sort out from one another. So he decided to latch onto the one that was always so comfortable and easy for him: Anger. “Where have you been?” He demanded.

Tubbo paused, but barely just. He gestured out behind him towards L’manberg, towards home. “… Here.”

“He lives here,” Techno supplied unhelpfully, “He’s the president.”

Right. Tubbo had been in L’manberg. Not in Logstedshire to visit Tommy, not once. “Do you remember when you exiled me?”

“Yeah,” Techno aided, not sadistically, but more annoyingly matter-of-fact, “Remember when he exiled you, Tommy?” Tommy tensed at the words, as if he were the only one allowed to own them.

Tubbo nodded brokenly. “Yes, yes… I… I also remembered when you died.”

Well of course. He’d been there both times, but something in his voice hinted that those were not the scenarios Tubbo was referring to. “What do you mean?”

“But—“ Tubbo’s hands began to fall from where they were held in the air. Tommy wanted to grab them. He laughed, swallowing heavily, “But I guess you didn’t!”

“What, when you exiled me?” Tommy’s heart was thrumming hard. He wasn’t ready for this talk. He felt nauseated. “You thought I’d just die out there, huh? You fucking knew?”

“No!” Tubbo insisted, shaking his head frantically, “I thought— Ghostbur went with you! And I never knew… I didn’t think Dream would take you so far, and I...” He trailed off, gaze dropping like a wounded puppy. His formal president suit still seemed a size too big on him, Tommy couldn’t help but observe.

“You didn’t visit once.”

“What? I—“ Tubbo squinted, “I did. I visited twice. But Dream— I couldn’t talk or stay long. He was always there. I was scared…”

And none of that made sense. Because the only time Tommy had seen Tubbo in those months were when he hallucinated him, so clearly Tubbo was lying to make fun of him. But that didn’t make sense either, because Tubbo was Tommy’s ex-best friend, but a past best friend of him nonetheless, and Tommy _knew_ Tubbo. He was an awful liar, easy to see through in seconds flat. And his gentle, genuine features and tone didn’t look like lying. But that didn’t make sense _either_ , because Dream had said Tubbo was never there, and Dream was always right.

Tubbo continued on, seemingly forgetting that he and Tommy were not the only two present and speaking more genuinely than he probably should have. “Tommy, I wanted to come so bad, I—“ He paused to draw in a shaky breath, and when he started again, meeting Tommy’s gaze, he was so broken, so exhausted, so relieved, so completely _Tubbo_. “Tommy… man, it was such a mistake. I regret it every day. I’m so sorry. I miss you so damn much, you have no idea— I can’t— you were so right. You were _so_ right. And when I went and saw, and _thought_ — Fuck, I’m so, so sorry… I miss you so much, man…”

He moved forward again, not stopping this time, and grabbed Tommy’s hands, scarred and dried from the cold winds of the tundra, and his touch was warm and inviting and _Tubbo_ , and the world was spinning and blurry and Tommy wanted to collapse.

All at once he was yanked back harshly, and the first syllable of Dream’s name, weak and practiced, almost grazed his tongue before he recognized it was just the hand of his brother, Techno, who was there to keep him safe. Tubbo’s hand slipped away, and Tommy realized suddenly that the reason everything was so blurry was because of tears. He swore under his breath— how damn embarrassing was that, to cry in front of everyone like this— and wiped his eyes furiously, thankful when Techno spoke up for him.

“If your bonding time is over,” He said in a deadpan, “We’re here for business. I want my trident.”

Right. Business. They had to get Techno’s weapons to get the discs. Tubbo’s regretful, apologetic words registered in Tommy’s head, but didn’t sink in despite how he wanted so damn desperately to cling to them. He’d been dreaming to hear those words for weeks, to hear Tubbo’s apologies, to hear Tubbo’s _voice_ again. But they were here for business. Techno wouldn’t like if Tommy said anything emotionally charged. So with great challenge, Tommy forced himself to regard the words as if they were nothing more than a dull magazine article. He shoved them in the back of his mind to mull over later, but for now, he couldn’t cry, and he couldn’t talk back. Techno wouldn’t like that.

And just as there had been when they’d first locked eyes again, Tubbo’s face melded through emotion after emotion that Tommy could do nothing but watch. First was more confusion, almost betrayal as he desperately searched Tommy’s blank face for something, _anything._ Then his gaze trailed down Tommy’s shoulders, cloaked in one of Techno’s spare, warm capes, of which Techno wore a nearly identical one. Then it went to Techno’s hand on Tommy’s shoulder, and he seemed to study Tommy’s expression as he let Techno speak up for him. Because Tommy _never_ let anyone speak for him, blood god or not. He was always the one trying to control a conversation or situation, but for once he was content to let Techno do the talking. And as he took all this in, his face melted into a dawning, horrified realization of the alliance that had clearly been formed between his best friend and the man he’d tried to execute days prior; who had destroyed their home; who he was sure Tommy _loathed_ until that very moment. And it was wrong, so horridly _wrong_ when he again, finally met Tommy’s eyes, seemed to take in the hollow, dulled color that had never quite come back, the eye bags that still lurked, because no feather down bed could combat nightmares of blood and water in lungs and painted smiles. And only _then_ did Tubbo realize fully what had happened, did he straighten, eyes swirling with so many indistinguishable emotions that Tommy could sympathize with, because he hardly knew what he was feeling himself at that point. All Tubbo whispered was a devastated, “Oh, _Tommy_ …” And though the last half of that sentence went unsaid, and surely unrecognized by the three other bystanders to the conversation, Tommy was Tubbo’s best friend, and he didn’t have to finish the statement, because those two words alone and the look in his eyes told him the rest:

 _Oh, Tommy_ … he’d meant, _What did they do to you? What did I_ let _them do to you?_

Tommy felt a lump in his throat. He tore his gaze away as Techno stepped in front of him, and didn’t look at him for the rest of the meeting.

Tubbo’s attention turned to Techno. Techno, who wore a cape identical to Tommy’s. Techno, who was L’manberg’s enemy. Techno who was allied with Tommy, which also made Tommy L’manberg’s enemy. And though Tommy didn’t look at him again, he sensed the shifts and heard all the talking through the distorted echo tunnel in his head.

He could feel Tubbo straighten, professional as he could manage for being _Tubbo_ , for God’s sake. Connor sat dejectedly on the ground nearby, and Tommy could feel the moment Tubbo noticed him there, could feel how he recognized the situation, could feel how he took a pause to collect himself. And worst of all, Tommy could hear his voice going cold and detached as he no longer looked for at friend, but instead stared at his objective enemies.

“… What’s going on here, gentlemen?” Tubbo said, sounding nothing like Tubbo.

Techno took over the rest of the transaction, and Tommy heard nothing but static the whole time. None of it mattered. The moment of relief had passed. Now, it was business. Gone were the children, and all that remained were the president and the criminal.

Connor went free and Techno got a couple of his weapons back; A success.

Tommy didn’t care. He stayed quiet, as he was supposed to. The adults were talking, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [Tumblr](https://lacystar.tumblr.com)!


End file.
